random play on my computer and heard this song by Andy Lau - Tie Le Xin Ai Ni

Brought back some memories from long ago. Once happy, things change... Came across yet another cache of stuff that belonged to me and him. It's been 2 years. Yet i can remember so clearly the days that we spent together. As i look through each thing, i recall the things we did, the places we went, our usual routine, our days we spent together. It's like time never passed. Going for haircuts together, going to your favourite restaurant with our bonus, going to the beach... Can you believe i still have your keys? You were so much a part of my life. But in the end, i was the one who gave up. In the end, it was still too much for me. All that upheavals, all those emotions, all that stress.

Threw everything out as i did with all the rest. Past is past, and all this is behind me. Learnt some stuff about myself this past year, learnt some stuff about life, about people, about love. Maybe this is the life i would have led already if i didn't meet you, maybe not. There are no recriminations, no blame. I never regretted the time we had.

I'll be getting where i want to be all the same, maybe just a little slower than others - But - I am doing it.

Anyway, then again, the last time i heard this song, it was sung by a person i thought well of.. The songs that day spoke of love and heartache... Another tormented by "love". Got me thinking a lot the past two days. Relationships is not something simple, not something to play around with. If i have learnt only one thing from my past, it is that relationships are to not to be undertaken lightly. It is not just about yourself and if you're happy. It is also another person's life. If you're unhappy together, then is there really any point in being together? If you don't like the other party, then why be together? It took me a year to figure it out, but truly - it probably would have been better for the other party never to have met person A if his or her heart is not in the relationship. The longer one was in a relationship, the harder it is to let go of the past...

Past - is exactly that. Past.

History cannot be changed, and we are who we are because of our experiences. When the goals have been chosen and the paths differ, so be it. Watched the Korean show, "My Lovely Samsoon", and i remember the male lead said - "So be it, let it all end here. No more self-blame, no more blaming. If i meet her again one day in the future, she will not see a despondent me." At the very least, that's what i believe in.

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Took precious time out from rushin my assignment due today to write this... I am so going to be dead......... X_X

(And i am so Panda...-_- Sigh...)